I’m not telling you anything new when I say love makes you fat. I mean, anyone who’s been in a semi long term relationship will know that a few extra inches is pretty much expected once you settle in. What with all the date night dinner and drinks to the perfect combo of Pizza + Nexflix, quite frankly, you are just too madly in love to care. Until then of course you do.
It all started a few months ago when my favourite size 8 jeans didn’t fit any more. They were my happy jeans. My “doesn’t my ass look great in these?” jeans, and they were gone. Poof! Just like that. How the hell did I gain a full dress size and not even notice?! Alas the last 7 months of dining out, takeaways and cute treats from my fella had finally landed on my hips, but as someone who has had somewhat of a control issue with food it can be dangerous territory. When I look at pictures of myself at my thinnest, I wasn’t happy but when I managed to find a weight that I was happy with and felt natural to me, I kept it for around 3 years quite easily – until I fell in love.
A few weeks ago I started to see some things in photos that didn’t exactly thrill me. My face looked rounder, my problem areas (hips, legs and tum) slowly expanding, not to mention generally feeling more awkward infront of the camera than usual. I know that I am by nobody’s means fat, but I have gained enough to know that I don’t like it. “Fat” and “skinny” are both words that unfortunately carry a lot of baggage when describing our bodies. They are more than just a description with the connotations changing the way we feel about ourselves and the way we feel in our everyday life. What do you do when you’re having a “fat” day? Eat less, tell yourself you are crap, stay clear of any mirrors and live in the COVER ME side of your wardrobe? Not any more, not on my watch. Unless it’s for health reasons, why is it so hard to embrace our body changes as we go through life? It’s natural! I mean, I know there are far worse problems than being a soft size 10, but I want to see what I can do to gain more control over my feelings and insecurities with my body, rather than just my fridge. Call it the self negativity diet if you will.
Of course, freaking out was my first instinct when I realised I have to be bikini ready in less than 4 weeks. But no, I’m not supposed to do that anymore. Not freaking out is the basis of this journey. When I learn to stop freaking out about food, or slight fluctuating weight it will become a more neutral element in my life that I can see for what it is. – being ‘normal’. Food is a source of nutrition, fuel, and should be a satisfying experience — not an arch nemesis, nor the love of your life. When I stop seeing eating healthy and exercise as a punishment, this is when I think I’ve finally found peak acceptance. At the end of the day, we all have so many other things to deal with than to hate on our bodies all the time. Ahm I right? How do you keep body positive?
I'm Betty, a tangerine haired, glasses wearing Scottish Fashion and Lifestyle blogger with a nose for a good sandwich and an eye for style. One half of vlogging duo Colour Pop Girls and Freelance Events & PR consultant based in Glasgow.