I’m not telling you anything new when I say love makes you fat. I mean, anyone who’s been in a semi long term relationship will know that a few extra inches is pretty much expected once you settle in. What with all the date night dinner and drinks to the perfect combo of Pizza + Nexflix, quite frankly, you are just too madly in love to care. Until then of course you do.
It all started a few months ago when my favourite size 8 jeans didn’t fit any more. They were my happy jeans. My “doesn’t my ass look great in these?” jeans, and they were gone. Poof! Just like that. How the hell did I gain a full dress size and not even notice?! Alas the last 7 months of dining out, takeaways and cute treats from my fella had finally landed on my hips, but as someone who has had somewhat of a control issue with food it can be dangerous territory. When I look at pictures of myself at my thinnest, I wasn’t happy but when I managed to find a weight that I was happy with and felt natural to me, I kept it for around 3 years quite easily – until I fell in love.
A few weeks ago I started to see some things in photos that didn’t exactly thrill me. My face looked rounder, my problem areas (hips, legs and tum) slowly expanding, not to mention generally feeling more awkward infront of the camera than usual. I know that I am by nobody’s means fat, but I have gained enough to know that I don’t like it. “Fat” and “skinny” are both words that unfortunately carry a lot of baggage when describing our bodies. They are more than just a description with the connotations changing the way we feel about ourselves and the way we feel in our everyday life. What do you do when you’re having a “fat” day? Eat less, tell yourself you are crap, stay clear of any mirrors and live in the COVER ME side of your wardrobe? Not any more, not on my watch. Unless it’s for health reasons, why is it so hard to embrace our body changes as we go through life? It’s natural! I mean, I know there are far worse problems than being a soft size 10, but I want to see what I can do to gain more control over my feelings and insecurities with my body, rather than just my fridge. Call it the self negativity diet if you will.
Of course, freaking out was my first instinct when I realised I have to be bikini ready in less than 4 weeks. But no, I’m not supposed to do that anymore. Not freaking out is the basis of this journey. When I learn to stop freaking out about food, or slight fluctuating weight it will become a more neutral element in my life that I can see for what it is. – being ‘normal’. Food is a source of nutrition, fuel, and should be a satisfying experience — not an arch nemesis, nor the love of your life. When I stop seeing eating healthy and exercise as a punishment, this is when I think I’ve finally found peak acceptance. At the end of the day, we all have so many other things to deal with than to hate on our bodies all the time. Ahm I right? How do you keep body positive?
I love this post…. :)
I really liked reading this! When I met my boyfriend, I was an underweight bulimic, but a year and a half later I’m a healthy size 10. I would convince myself I was unlovable at this size but he has only loved me more, and I care less about my weight than I ever did, despite being the heaviest I’ve ever been! I think being in a healthy relationship has helped me get a healthier relationship with food, and learning that being curvy is definitely a good thing. xx
Aw thanks ladies, something a little different for me! I couldn’t agree with you more though Ruth, we all go through so many things in life that your body is bound to change! The more we relax into it and just be healthy, the happier we will all be. Thanks so much for sharing too! You look amazing <3
woman, could i love you more? Seeing someone as glorious as yourself share such insecurities is really comforting. I have had to make peace with seeing weight go up as I allowed myself to be a little too thing and my body really really did not like it (and stopped a lot of functions) it is a struggle on the reflection front but health wise it has been amazing. You are such a beauty inside and out- thanks for sharing xxx
Aw Ruth I could say the same about you! You really beauty h2t and inside out girl, the more we all share the more normal we’ll feel. It’s the majority’s struggle, the more we support each other the easier the journey will be <3 xx
Excellent point! Most of the days I can keep body positivity, but pretty often I have those negative days as well. I do not eat less on those days, but I do feel like I should be moving more. However, I do not feel that exercise is a punishment, I rather like it, just don’t always have time for it. So when I do not feel my best, I want to make that extra time for exercise, I drink more water, try to stay away from sugary treats and go to bed on time :)
Lii
That’s some great advice there! Thank you! I do love Yoga but have slipped back out of it, I think it’s about keeping up momentum for me. I need to create more positive habits! Xx
Yasss girl! All over this and completely relate to it all! I actually put together a post last month about being “beach body ready” with a bunch of women who have embraced the same approach as yourself. Check it out if you want (some v v v cute swimwear bits there too) http://www.ventthreads.uk/2016/04/april-beach-body-ready.html –
Keep up the good work ya babe! Xo
Awww thank you! I will do just that! Glad to see so many ladies being so positive with themselves, it’s wonderful xx
I definitely think that it is majorly important now to use platforms like blogs to help spread body positivity though – the media is while for making us feel shit about ourselves when we really shouldn’t be so hard! You’re rocking it (:
Thanks so much, honestly means the world. We’re all in this together! ❤️ xx
I relate pretty extremely to this. I came out of an abusive relationship with someone who demanded I stay a certain size, and then I started dating a really amazing guy who didn’t care about my weight. It was so freeing and comfortable that I stopped stressing, and combined with getting rid of my full length mirror, I stopped seeing the changes in my body. I gained a lot more than a dress size, but I’m trying to lose as much weight as I can so that I can fit back into my cute clothes and not because a boy tells me. I’m so lucky to have someone supportive now. Your post has put into words a lot of feelings I’ve had and makes me think about some of the ones I haven’t addressed yet. Thanks!
I’ve definitely put on a bit since moving in with the boy, before we lived together it was easier to maintain… however I started seeing exercise as a former of therapy and it really helped my mental block of it being a chore or punishment! Now I love it, it’s an hour or so where I have no other concerns outside of that space and my only focus is myself :) xx
If you’ve grown out of your favourite jeans, you then get to experience the job of buying new jeans and searching for ones which flatter and fit your body. See it as a chance to celebrate your body all over again
http://secret-hipster.blogspot.com/
This is a brilliant post! I used to be very thin, 5 stone 5, and I had to go on a special diet to gain weight. It’s taken me a few years to get to the weight I am now, I’ve gone up two clothes sizes (three in some shops!) and I’ve never felt better because I’m now happy, healthy and feel a lot better in myself.
With gaining weight so quickly I’ve gained stretch marks here, there and everywhere which at first made me quite self conscious. It was something new I’d gained on my body that wasn’t there before. But a positive spin on that was I also gained, boobs, a bum, hips, and a healthy weight at last. It was a reminder of how far I’d come and how happy I was now. :) xx
Thanks so much to each of you for sharing your experiences, it always feels somewhat safety in numbers when you are putting yourself out there. We all have bad habits when it comes to our bodies, but it sounds like we’re all on the right path to acceptance and loving them for what they are and give us. I am determind that i will find a kind of excersize I like, and when I do I’ll let you all know. I am sure a new puppy will keep me on my toes though! xx
What an awesome perspective. Thank you so much, truly!!!