It’s ok to be a loser, baby!

Come to think of it I’ve never really been a winner, you know, in the technical sense. Since I was wee, I learned that winning just wasn’t for me. Sure, I have achieved so many personal goals in my life, but when it came to votes, opinions of my peers or straight up race to the finish line, Lady Luck seemed to pass me by. When it comes to losing, no one can beat yourself up like you can. But the question is, what’s really wrong in being a loser anyway?

For me, the struggle in working for yourself, by yourself, is having no one really there to celebrate with. So when awards and such things arise, it’s good to put yourself in the ring and try get some recognition. It’s been a roller coaster year for me; from breaking down one business, starting another to moving house it’s been a struggle to keep on blogging and keep my anxiety in check. But you know what? I have. Well, just about. There’s a few things I’ve learned in my time to help me get out of these funks, so I thought I’d share seven of them. Losing is fine, but dragging yourself down about it really isn’t.

Celebrate the small successes
Think about it, life is LONG and with so much doom and gloom about the media, it’s never been more important to celebrate those small wins. So even if you haven’t reached those major milestones, you have to sit down and take note that even if you had, you’d be onto the next dream by now. That’s why it’s so important to celebrate small, otherwise it’ll all just pass you by.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself
When I’m feeling insecure I tend to focus on my weakness. Which sounds like a recipe for disaster I know, but actually it has got me quite far. When you analyse your weaknesses it gives you a chance to see if they are holding you back. For example, I take on too much work, resulting in an overcrowded schedule and having less time on the other important aspects in life. This has allowed me to put myself in check, say no to a few things, pass on the love and in turn have more time to get things done. Just remember, checking your weaknesses isn’t an invitation to your own pity party, it’s more about taking a hard look at yourself and the things that may be holding you back.

Stop comparing yourself
Ach the old green eyed monster, what a dick you are. Jealousy really is the worst but we all get it from time to time. There’s always gonna be someone who seems to have it all, but no matter what, EVERYONE has got their own shit they need to work on. Yes, I was jealous last night when I missed out on an award, of course I was! It would be weird to feel nothing, but that doesn’t make the winner any less deserving just because I felt a little butt hurt. Accepting jealousy and letting go of it will make you feel so much better, just remember it’s a feeling everyone knows all too well.

Write it down
I have been struggling to write anything of any substance of late, but when something hits a chord with me there’s really no better time to hit pen to paper. Even if it’s just for yourself, there’s a lot to be said about sharing your feels. Even the ugly ones. It really does put things in perspective and the therapy of it will honestly help you move on.

Fake it till you make it
Sometimes you’ll be surprised at the people who have to wear their confidence like a fancy hat. But the thing is, there’s a lot to be said about taking a deep breath and getting on with it, finding that confidence from somewhere, within yourself. Channel those times where you absolutely nailed it and let that confidence help you through the times when you feel you fall short.

Meme it out
There’s a lot to be said about a wee inspirational quote. My Gran has always said “what’s for ye won’t got past ye” but you know what? I really do think everything happens for a reason and we really should do something everyday that scares us! Inspirational quotes can really be a quick fire way to boost your can do attitude and lift them spirits. So head to Pinterest and pull together a bunch of your faves to use in your times of need. After all, if you change nothing, nothing will change!

I know I know, I just said fake it till you make it but that doesn’t mean actually being fake. Confidence will never come if you don’t embrace your true self, warts and all. No one is perfect. No one really ‘has it all’ all the time, it’s ok if you fall off the rails, it’s the getting up and keeping on that will get you far.

It’s crazy to think that I started this blog over 5 years ago with no real intention, yet it has pretty much given me all I’ve ever wanted in life. A legit job in the fashion industry, an incredible support network and hell, my own PR and Events business! It’s only when you take a step back you realise how much you’ve achieved, and racking up those personal goals that you can realise how far you’ve come. We are all our own toughest critics, so today I’m gonna be more gentle on myself. I may have never picked up a trophy or had my name engraved on a plaque, but dammit, I’ve done a good job at something I love in my own opinion and no one can ever take that away from me. Huge congrats to all the winners and the losers last night, we all work so hard every and nomination is something we all need to be proud of. It’s about lifting each other – and ourselves – in our successes and our failures and not defining ourselves by anyone else’s opinions apart from our own. You’re doing a good job, I promise.