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<\/a><\/p>\nTo have suffered from anxiety at some point in our lives basically means you are human. Not all anxiety is created equal \u2014 it manifests in a range of ways, and as a result, can impact us all differently. For me, my anxiety comes in many different forms but the loudest likes to remind me that I\u2019m just not good enough, nor ever will be. Most days \u00a0I can choose not to listen to the voice \u00a0(oh dear, really sounding crazy now) but sometimes it\u2019s too strong not to. Yesterday was one of those days.<\/p>\n
Normally I don\u2019t do competitions. I\u2019m an extremely competitive person and not entirely because I\u2019m a sore loser (well, maybe just a little) but more the fact that like many people, no one can put me down\u00a0as well as I can. After I found out the news, all my incredible friends and family rallied round to let me know how awesome I was, how great an opportunity it is and how there is so much that could come from it. Every single word of that is true, but yesterday, I just couldn\u2019t feel it myself and man did I feel guilty. It\u2019s hard to surrender to the dark side, but I feel what works for me is to give in, just for a day, only to come back stronger tomorrow.<\/p>\n Trouser \u2013 Glasgow Vintage Co<\/a>, Egg Bag \u2013 Luna on the Moon<\/a>, Top \u2013 Hayley Scanlan<\/a>,<\/p>\n Polo \u2013 Topshop, Watch \u2013 Caravelle<\/a>, Shoes \u2013 Debenhams<\/p>\n This morning I woke up feeling incredibly lucky to have got to the place I did. I was the only Scottish finalist, I gave some fantastic local design an incredible platform, raised my profile and met some ridiculously nice people along the way. I did a photoshoot with a renowned photographer that literally stopped traffic while shooting with me, stayed in a private muse house in the centre of London and saw myself make the centerfold of the UK\u2019s biggest Fashion Magazine. It really wasn\u2019t that I was feeling ungrateful, it was more I was just gutted for it all to be over outwith my control.<\/p>\n While it\u2019s easy for us all to get hung up on whatever it is that has us bummed, once these things happen it isn\u2019t actually the fact that gets us down, but present interpretation of what happened that hurts the most. I had started the prep for the next stage, getting excited as I saw my outfits coming together and visualizing the final as if I could touch it. I just needed to cut myself a break, have a night in with trash TV and allow myself to feel shitty. I put a lot of love, time and energy into it, so of course it\u2019s only natural to be upset. Today, I\u2019m all about the future. Patting myself on the back for going out of my own comfort zone and putting myself out there in the first place.\u00a0Over 2,500 people think my look is pretty kick ass, so I need to believe in myself as much as they do. We all have our bad days, we just need to not let them define who we are or where we want to be.<\/p>\n Scarf & Waistcoat \u2013 Aymee Charlton<\/a>, Trousers \u2013 H&M, Shoes \u2013 Vintage,<\/p>\n Polo \u2013 Primark, Jewellery \u2013 John & Pearl\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n I\u2019m waaay far behind on the voting stakes, but if you would still like to vote for my Boho look, you can do so via the fiestastylista.co.uk<\/a> website. Even though I didn\u2019t get through, I\u2019ll treasure the whole experience. After all, what\u2019s for us can never go passed us, what doesn\u2019t kill us makes us stronger and \u2013 most importantly \u2013 if you don\u2019t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?! Can I get an AMEN?! Thanks again to everyone for being so supportive of my adventure, it only makes me excited about what\u2019s to come.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>